Note: The following is somewhat of an extension of Monday’s argument. Click here to get a frame of reference.
As of July 1st, foie gras will be banned in my hometown of California. Why? Because the methods we use to fatten geese (which involve forceful overfeeding via tubes) have been deemed cruel. I adore foie gras, so my first reaction to this was “blue state bullshit!” But, Russell, my meticulous man of moderate musings, had to (once again) stop me from being myself. He tried to point out a web of contradictions I had not only spun for myself, but also managed to get caught inside—as I’m both the proverbial spider and the figurative fly? I really need to stop drinking before attempting metaphors.
Earlier this week, I took a firm stance against animal testing, and I stand by every word of it. Russell thought I was talking out both sides of my mouth, however, because I reserve no moral Kool-Aid for how livestock should be handled before the slaughter. After all, it makes no difference to me if these birds are mistreated to harvest fattier livers. I celebrate veal. (I mean, look how cute those calves are in their tiny boxes—they’re like little bonsai cows! How udderly adorable! See what I did there?) And I really couldn’t give less of a shit whether the range of my chickens is free or barb wiry oppressive.
Does this indifference make me a bad person? Absolutely. But, shockingly, it doesn’t make me a hypocrite. (So, yeah, continue sucking eggs, Russell!) My issue isn’t that testing on animals is torturous. Animal cruelty is nothing new, and isn’t even uniquely human—I’ve seen dogs proudly strutting around with live birds in their mouth, and cats batting around mice until they die of shock. Rather, my issue is more about wastefulness. Food is as noble of a cause as we’ve invented (given that it falls under the category of resources), but I see no nobility in killing for what is essentially collecting data. If you can’t understand the difference… get a haircut, you damn hippy! I’m joking. Mostly.
Now, I’m not entirely heartless—I make an honest effort to buy all natural meat products, and so should you. Thus, show me a bill demanding more ethical treatment of geese before we foie their gras, I’ll sign it. Show me a ballot, I’ll vote for it. But, to arbitrarily take it away? No. Sorry, but no. I’m hungry, I’m selfish and I don’t want to move to Arizona.
Loaded Mac ‘N Cheese
- 1 bag (16 oz) pasta
- 4 tbsp butter
- 1/3 cup minced shallots
- 4 tbsp flour
- 2 cups milk
- 2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
- 1 cup sour cream
- 1/4 tsp pepper
- 1/4 tsp salt
- 2 cups cubed ham
Preheat oven to 350˚. Cook pasta as directed, drain and return to pot. While pasta is cooking, melt butter in a large sauce pan. Add shallots and saute for a minute or two. Add flour and stir continuously for 2–3 minutes. Slowly add milk and stir until mixture starts thicken. Stir in cheese until melted. Remove from heat and stir in sour cream, pepper and salt. Add sauce and ham to pasta, and mix well. Spray a 9″ x 13″ glass casserole dish with non-stick spray. Add pasta mixture to dish and bake for 20–25 minutes. Let casserole rest for 5 minutes before serving. If you want to be extra fancy, drizzle some truffle oil over the mac ‘n cheese before serving. We’ve been eating Easter ham for days, so I thought this would be a good way to get rid of some. I knew I was right when the kids asked for seconds.
Credit for today’s rant (and title) goes to my bite-size friend, Autumn. I didn’t know about the foie gras issue until she brought it to my attention. She’s my partner in decadence, the one I play fancy dress-up with whenever I like to pretend to have money. Riddle me this, then, California: How am I supposed to do that when you are incrementally killing our friendship with these embargoes on our elitist snobbery? Blue state bullshit, indeed!
TWTG says, “Oh, there’s a huge twinge of guilt, but whatever.”